Good bloggers update. I am a good blogger. .:. I am updating.

I have decided to impart some of my wisdom. I have a lot of wisdom, and don't have time to write it all down. So I have selected two bits of especial wisdom to impart, that you may learn:

ALEX'S BEAN RECIPE:

I've been working on these beans all summer. There's been a lot more addition than subtraction in the ingredient department. I don't actually think there's been any subtraction at all. That's how keen my culinary instincts are.

YOU WILL NEED:

spices: coriander (lots), cumin (lots; aka comino), black pepper (lots), cayenne pepper (lots), paprika (a good amount), chili powder (a good amount), salt (to taste, specifically mine: just a little), cinnamon (a good amount)
habenero salsa
mustard
garlic (lots, at least 6 large cloves)
fun-size pack m&ms (other sizes can be used, but the resulting beans will be less playful)
can of beans (Bush's black beans, aka frijoles negros)

dice the garlic into tiny dices. saute the garlic and the m&ms until the garlic is brown and the oil is kinda technicolor. inhale deeply. pour the beans in, set the flame to lowish. add everything else in the appropriate quantities. inhale deeply. periodically stir beans until most of the liquid is gone.

there! ALEX'S BEANS are now ready to be enjoyed by themselves, in burritos, quesadillas, some sort of casserole I guess, the next day after being microwaved, with eggs maybe, etc.



HOW A VERY CHEAP MAN WORKS OUT:

This summer I had no money. Just no money at all. It was a very desperate time. But like Joseph Pilates I was not going to let this stop me from working out. If you would like to work out and spend no money at all, have I got some tips for you:

1) STEAL FROM YOUR FRIENDS. My early efforts were immeasurably aided by stealing a barbell with weights from Argy, as well as two containers of protein shakes. (A SIDE NOTE ON PROTEIN SHAKES: if you don't like milk, these are hell. I used to make protein sandwiches, which consisted of me heaping a large spoonful of protein onto a peanut butter sandwich, then eating that over the sink. later I would mix these with juice, which worked okay for vanilla, but chocolate-peanut butter-apple juice is something I wish on no one). I also stole two 8 pound freeweights from Marika.

2) BEANS ARE A GOOD SOURCE OF PROTEIN. (see above for excellent bean recipe) Oh and this is another point where my personal predilections were kinda a disadvantage, viz, vegetables are horrible for protein. This is why vegetarians are a skinny people. A skinny scrawny people. Look at pictures of leftists over the years. Back in the day you had folks like Big Bill Haywood who were hearty models of American Manhood, but then vegetarianism became more and more popular in leftie circles and we got scrawnier and scrawnier. If you're a real man eat fish for protein.

3) ADAPT. Say some sort of Benedict Argy steals your barbell. Your only barbell. And say you run out of protein shakes. This will actually make you stronger. First, the barbell. That barbell was a crutch, man. I was trying to bench press this barbell and let me tell you it only had like 10 pounds on either side which meant I would have to rapidly bench press for an hour for it to do any good. And back, forget the back. Once I got rid of the barbell I began doing push-ups and pull-ups. These are much better. You can do pull-ups off near anything; I was doing them off the roof, but the roofing hurt my hands, so now I do them off a ledge in my room.

But you still need a barbell. For arms and for shoulders and even for legs, you need a barbell. Fear not, for they are easy to make:



That's two cinderblocks tied to a broom! Works just as well as the old "real" barbell.

As for the protein, GMC has great deals on slightly irregular protein bars. Some have been opened, some are near expired, some are just disgusting: but they all have that protein you need. Right now I'm eating Mega Whey bars, 30 grams a pop, and it only cost me a bit under a dollar per bar.


That's all the wisdom I have for today, my lovelies. I actually made my beans and then rushed to go tell you how to make your own and now they're just sitting there. If you're curious, they're going to become burritos.
11:00 PM